The addiction called Love

I went through a blog and felt like spreading the word and hence couldn't resist myself from copying and re-posting the same here. Kudos to the blogger. The same has been posted by me along with some of the comments i liked. Here goes the blog post...  

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What is the worst addiction? Alcohol? Smoke? Drugs? They are fatal, aren’t they? They can make you physically weak, mentally unstable, and can take away your life. Dangerous.

What about being addicted to love? How good and how bad is it?

For those who are in love this post must not be weird. Rest of you can go fall in love and then come back to read if you find it weird.

Till date I knew about the good parts, but a girl I knew ended her life last week after two heartbreaks and I saw the darker side.

I also have a best friend who cannot stay out of love. Loneliness bites her. After a series of failed relationships and one failed attempt at suicide she is about to get married and is badly perplexed. She has been in almost three relationships and none worked out. She is worried her marriage might fall apart in similar fashion; worst part is that it’s an arranged one and she doesn’t even know this guy properly. I know the story of her life but I never understood the reason behind her hasty decisions regarding relationships. So I asked why she did that to herself. Why not wait for someone who walks in and never leaves again. Why after all is she determined to stay troubled over one or other person consecutively? Why bear multiple heartbreaks? Her reply was an obvious one but it made me ponder over what this addiction can do to you.

You know how it is when you fall head over heels in love. Your phone bills shoot up because you spend ample time talking and texting. You prefer staying in contact 24 x 7. You let each other know about every minute of your day. Spend quality time with each other. Get habituated of sharing your life with that person. Intimacy and love and care redefine themselves.

What if it ends all of a sudden? Are you strong enough to bear the wide gap now left in the place your special one had been? You get so habituated to each other that the emptiness engulfs you once it’s over. Few people live with it and move on and live once again. Most succumb to their need to be with someone to fill up that empty space again and end up getting into wrong relationships. “We fall in love once” becomes passé. The need to always feel loved and cared and wanted takes over. Too much of love indeed takes away your will power to tackle loneliness, doesn’t it?

Isn’t addiction to love the worst one then? Isn’t it the most fatal one? It can make a physically fit person voluntarily ruin and end his/her life. Heartbreak kills you every day. Loneliness eats you up internally and you become a hollow shell. Sadly, there are no rehabs to cure the addiction to love.

I learnt one thing. Fall in love alright, but try not to let it control your life. Learn to live again. If one person left your life, it might mean there is someone better for you. Learn to wait and let life work of its own accord. Let things shape up on their own. Hasty decisions can ruin whatever chances you still have. It can make your life hell. It can ruin your family, pain the people who love you and care for you.

Love as much as you can…but understand it’s not the end of life. Addiction of any sort is dangerous. Love is a beautiful feeling. Don’t make it a drug.

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Comments:-  

1) Once you get emotionally attached with someone, it's hard to forget him/her.. Some people get emotionally attached to the extreme...but yes..as you said, it's not good..Life is much much more than Love & Relationship. :)

2) Truly! People tend to be in so-called "love", just to avoid the feeling of loneliness.

3) I can never understand ppl who are so addicted to relationships....and I dont call it love.

Because trust me true love happens very rare...
After my life experiences I wdnt say it happens just once and blah blah but yes it is rare...

What your friend goes through is a case of rebounds...which is kind of dependency for u fear loneliness and need someone....and trust me rebounds r disaster....unless ur over the one u loved...and moved ahead....no relationship will ever success....the baggage will just grow and grow....One needs to reflect on her life post breakup and find a path before getting involved again.....breakups are hard....they takes yrs to heal...u move on but u never forget....and thats the hard fact.....so instead of focusing life around men....we need to find ways to be busy and friends r best ways for that....

Ur friend never gives chance to find herself and hence made herself vulnerable and relationships addicted and if that goes...she can never adjust and will find her expectations ruined...she needs to be open to love and adjust here and there if she wants the marriage to succeed and never be pessimistic Life is much more than love...that is one reason I always believed in spaces even in marriages...so girl outs shouldn't stop post marriage too :)

4) Love makes one live longer.True love makes you very strong,physically and mentally.Control love,let not love control you.I love as many as I like.If they love me fine,if they don't love me fine.But I continue loving as one day that person will realize and come back to share full,pure love.

Courtesy-  My Uncensored Heart

When careness SMOTHERS

Thoughts sometimes inundate our minds, and so is the feeling for our near and dear ones. But why?

I've been looking for its answer since last couple of days. What i finally came across is not a fresh and complex theory of  Einstein or Stephen Hawking, hard or difficult to fathom and comprehend. Thanks to the streetwalker whose moves made me realize, decipher and eventually helped in getting the answer. The simple and clear hypothesis is that, Its the ultimate difficulty one faces, or feels SMOTHERED rather, when we make our moves just out of selfless love, respect, and CARE. And its a celestial fact that when we feel smothered, we drift towards a place, a corner or a lifestyle rather, that gives us the full opportunity to flap our wings, breathe freely and most importantly to get rid of the pains, restrictions and the confinements imposed on us.

BUT why do people feel smothered when our moves are just for the welfare for them and of-course driven by the conscience of care for them? 

This is something which is open for interpretation by one and all. Reasons might be different for different people. But at the end of the day its painful anyway.

There are various probable cases. Even the same is true for our family members. We are so close to each other that we expect they'll understand our moves, our unsaid concern for them, for their good, for their better and best in fact. They do understand it but finally there are private places, privy concerns which must not be invaded and compromised under any situation. 

Family members understand it and everything settles with time... What about those who are not a part of our family but mean more than that?

Is it always a mistake cum blunder from the either of them? Or just a communication gap? Probably we get so infuriated from the most recent move of our friends that, all the past deeds, promises, and most importantly "The Friendship" becomes meaningless for us. Why we don't try to understand what actually the intentions were of the latter? Why we don't pay any heed to our conscience's voice? Why do we, every-time, get moved by the strong feeling of abhorrence? Why we don't give it all a second thought? Why???

It all may sound futile and a mere attempt to damage our vocal chords but try to look at it from the perspective of the person who finds no utterance, and no space to show whether it was (s)he who is being perceived as the culprit or a mere outcome of clubbing of all prejudices, detests and hostility that refuge in our brain just because we couldn't accept that we'll feel SMOTHERED due to their concern and care for us.

An Average Man

This is all about the average people. The non-rockstars. Those who do not have a catchy background music being played when they enter a scene in their miserable lives. Those who are not born with a silver-spoon stuck into their mouths. Those who spent their childhood wondering if there could be a super-power hidden inside them, but eventually end up discovering they suffer from a cartoon overdose. This is also about the wonderful middle-class people who have dreams bigger than the scams in India.

I am talking about anyone who wasn’t the tallest or the shortest in the school. But was again somewhere in the middle. Also the ones who weren’t the best looking, nor were the worst looking. Those who weren’t the most brilliant in academics, nor were slothful brains.

Our teachers always thought we could do better than we have done. Our parents always thought that with a little more effort, we could possibly join the league of ‘toppers’. No matter how hard we worked, there always was a- ‘bete, there is still a scope of improvement‘. I am talking about those who always thought they were the best among the crowd all time, but as soon as they entered a competition, had a heart-break which was worse than studying mathematics (or any subject of your dis-choice). They were always told that the world will only show respect to those who excel in studies, or sports, or whatever they weren’t doing well in. We were always compared with that idiot looking nerd living round the corner who would score at least 10 percent marks more than us. And that comparison sucked. And if we tried telling how many people were below us, we would get a strong dose of motivational philosophy(or whatever you call it). Failure is always a part of anything the average people do. And such an integral part that it soon becomes a pain in the rear. And each failure would be a public incident bigger than the parade in Rio. We did eventually win(doubtful here. citation needed), but that would be such an undercover incident that people would hardly notice. If anyone did, they would say- “Oh, anyone can do that”. Yes, I know, that is the time when you feel like having a rocket launcher in your hands.

The average kids grow up and become…. The average youngsters (no reset button pressed here). The miserable lives continue. The famous saying ‘Beggars cannot be choosers’ has already applied to you so many times that you start considering it a universal law. The few exclusive ones might also develop into bigtime social misfits. Each morning the average people wake up thinking if today could be the day when they would encounter the lucky stone (or any other animate/inanimate object… depends on personal fantasies) that would change their lives. They come back each evening getting a shot of reality check (recursive). They are the ones who do not have the most loaded pockets around. They do not have a callous life to go through. They actually have to work hard to get anything they want. And many a times they don’t get it, but the journey continues. The average ones keep the search mission to find their better half running 24×7. And that is not easy, especially when the Middle people are again at middle in confidence levels.

We are not the ones who are fond of fighting for the 99.9ish percentiles in exams. We feel relieved with 95-96ish percentiles (or even 85-90 in some cases). Most of the times we are happy that we didn’t fail. Parental pressure stops affecting us by this time. We have generally become immune to embarrassment, humiliation, failures, dengue… Okay not the last one.

But trust me, being the average one, the middle one isn’t that bad. In fact it is one of the best things if you see from my perspective. The average guy always works harder for everything, be it academics, profession, relationships etcetera. And this is a very good trait. Another good thing is, an average guy(or girl) will always look for an opportunity for improvement while the excellent one is basking in the glory of his past laurels. Being average is actually the driving force behind the average person. The average guy has his goals set. He would keep working towards them. In the process, he would become better.

The times are dynamic. A new era has ushered in. This is the time when the tables have turned. It is not the perfect people who are making it big. It is the Middle people. It is our time folks. We are the future. The average people are the ones who make better professionals, better entrepreneurs, better partners and better idols. No one is interested in the story of a guy who topped the exams throughout his life and then worked for some MNC. The stories of the excellent are not dramatic enough. Nor are the stories of the pure losers interesting (for obvious reason – they are losers). It is the life of the average guy which has all the drama, action, suspense and the masala for a future bollywood movie. Only an average one can turn the tables during the course of time. He is the one who can do things most unexpected of him. He is the one who goes through all the struggle. And what a life without drama? The middle’s life has the whole package of a successful movie. He is the new idol. He is the new face of brilliance.

Okay, most of the average people reading this might still be stuck in ‘Oh-my-miserable-life-sucks‘ phase. Keep faith, times will change. That is the best thing about time. And don’t think you are not the best at anything. You are the best at being.. The Middle One !

Courtesy- http://goo.gl/shOZe

I am my tomorrow…

A certain series of events my life recently have made me think. Thinking is a chronic disease but sometimes a valuable one. We are often faced with “Situations” that force us to choose between:
Right or wrong?
today or tomorrow?
casual or serious?
What ultimately wins is the kind of person you are. Celebrate this victory by keeping up what you truly believe in. Be trusting and be trusted. Life is unfair, but its unfair for others too.
Depriving yourself of simple things to get something more complex is a sheer waste of what one life can give you. Hiding behind something that is irrational and cumbersome is not only unwise but also non-rewarding.
Sleeping over a few things only makes you enjoy things, moments and people. A non chalant life will never be rewarding. Peeking from the veil is also an experience, dislike it first but then teach yourself to find the happiness.

Cheers to more that we can get from this life!!

Courtesy http://pinksocks.wordpress.com/

I'm speechless!!!

keep ur emotions under cOnTrOl.........




LOVE 10th Grade As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair, And wished she were mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I Knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes She had missed the day before. I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade The phone rang. On the other end, it was she. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she were mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barry more movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said, " he's not going to go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go Together- just as 'best friends'. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angle up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone wenthome, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried a I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married. I watched her say 'I do' and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said'you came.' She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: "I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! 'I wish I did too...'

I thought to my self, and cried. Do yourself a favor; tell her/him you love them. They won't be there forever. :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: StOp Cryiiiiiing...This is wat life is all about....



Courtesy PaGaLGuY.com

Its all about words...

I know it was another unforgettable event of my life, but, i'm sure, i'll forget it very soon, as, i've got no other option.

Entering the examination hall, with full zeal, to give it ma best shot, and ending up with a better (and not best) one... Is it all that deserves these many taps on keyboard to quote such a marathon post at this place? Pals no, this is not the reason, but yeah, i admit that it was a link or kinda seed or the driving factor behind all that, which took place there on 17th april.

Writing examination has never been a daunting task for me. However the ambience and the fellow examinee, sitting around, make it a hell or heaven for you most, often in my opinion.

I don't know, whether my purpose to write this post would be fulfilled or not, but, with honesty in its entirety in my heart, I wanted to convey my message to those two ladies who went mad at me, apparently, without any reason. If by the grace of the almighty God, you come across my words, I, at the onset, would sincerly apologise for spoiling your post examination cheer, and later that, a big thanks to both of you... Wait a second, I'm gonna make it clear why.

But prior to that, i request you to spare an extra moment. I don't know, how did i offend you duo. We normally tend to get outta the tensed environment of the examination hall, once we submit our answer sheets. I'm not any exception to this. Being at the beginning of the row, i left my place after handing over the answer sheet, and headed all the way towards the exit, and subsequently was stopped by the invigilator, and i obeyed, stopped at the door, which was closed and by that time you people too headed towards the same exit. I alongwith other guys, was waiting for the green signal to leave the room and it all took around 40 seconds. Those 40 seconds were so lengthy for you that you couldn't resist yourself from doing those girly things, that irritates, probably, one and all, specially boys. But WHY WAS I THE TARGET? WHAT WAS MY FAULT? All i did was, i sought permission to move out in English, where probably more than 85% of the candidates were conversing in either hindi or their regional dialect. IS IT AN OFFENCE? If yes then i plead for a proper justification.

As per your words, those arrowed towards me, i was trying to grab everybody's attention. Ma'am, it has NEVER BEEN MY INTENTION to grab someone's attention, and frankly speaking, not even in case of (any) girl(s). I'm really very sorry, but if this was the reason behind your anger and those piercing words for me, i won't agree with you. I even invite my friends out here, who know me, to say, and explain, was i really guilty anyway here? You tell, and i assure, if justified, i'd abide by your judgement.

Well i appriciete your viewpoint at some place, as you clearly and properly described my personality, and which is true also. I know what i'm, how i look, i appear, and everything i posses. I've been working on it, but the effects of the place where you hail from, the kinda education you've got, the environment you've spent your initial life in, are inherent and i don't know, whether they can be removed or not. You deserve kudos for such a brilliant observatory skill.

You people deserve thanks, as you made me crush the sprouting thing in my Heart, that had started to grow by leaps and bounds in last few couple of weeks. You were right, i don't deserve to do this. And why should I? If this is how you ladies think and react, when we boys have no intention like that, then, i'm better being alone. Its better to not bring a representative of your gender in my life. You duo made me re-realise this. I would be able to focus my full attention on the things i'm supposed to do, now on. Thanks a tonne for your awakening words.

Life can be kept busy in lots of things. I've a huge pile of books to study. Later that, facebook, twitter etc can make you forget that you live in a world, whose, people like you are a part of. I've friends to die for, family to survive for, and my responsibilities to strive for.

Do i really need anything else to think on?

If i have the combination of all these then i must not worry or repent or take words of people like you any bit seriously. But still, it hurts when you are barely criticised in public. It does. You never know what your words may mean to one, and its effects... Just for an example, the great war of Mahabharata was fought due to a couple of words said by Draupadi to Duryodhan. Relax, i'm not gonna wage any war like that cuz i'm not Duryodhan. I'm JP, a simple man, a part of the crowd who are most often refered to as mango people. Still trying to lay the foundations of my career and life. But one thing fr sure, I'd definitely become a misogynist for one more time.

My Uncensored Heart: Sure The Bride Is A Virgin?

Came across this blog post through a link provided by Pallavi Puri, on Facebook.
This made me to think umpteen no of times about the way this so called civilized society and the so called civillians, framing stupid ideologies and making dirty stereotypes.... blah blah blah, most you say is least.

Please go through the link provided. I must appreciate the way authress, Shivani has expressed her feelings and grivances a girl is likely to have after coming across this kinda dreadful figure of this civil society....
Kudos to her.

My Uncensored Heart: Sure The Bride Is A Virgin?: "I was talking to this girl I know since school, and she sounded sad, so unlike her. I have known her since we were in high school. She was ..."